My Dvar Torah

Here is the Dvar Torah I delivered this morning:

Abraham Lincoln, president of the United States, 1861 dash 1865

Michael Jordan, NBA superstar, 1985 dash 1993 and 1996 dash 1998 (let’s not talk about the years he played for Washington)

Jacob, son of Isaac, Middle Bronze Age, circa 1800 dash 1653 BCE (give or take)

There is a great short story by Linda Ellis about how the dash of people’s lives are what matter most, not the dates that began and ended them. These three people, Lincoln, Jordan, and Jacob, did great things in their time. But it is not what they did with that time, rather how they did it, that made them great.

In our פרשה this week, תולדות, we learn about Jacob and Esau. We all know the story. Jacob and Esau fight in the womb, Jacob comes out second holding onto Esau’s heel, he exploits Esau into giving up his birthright, then eventually, one day while Esau goes out to prepare food to receive his blessing, Jacob swoops in and ‘steals’ that. It seems that Jacob doesn’t come off as the most honest person in the world.

Before we get into the consequences for Jacob’s actions, we have to look back and see exactly what happened. After Rebekah became pregnant, and she felt some struggling inside her, she went to God and asked מה פיתום, whats happening?. God told her that, “Two peoples are in your belly; two nations shall branch off from each other…the elder shall serve the younger.” When they came out of the womb, Jacob came out second, meaning God prophesized that Esau would end up serving Jacob.

What if Jacob and Esau knew about God’s prophecy before they were born? What if they were not struggling inside to get out first, but rather, to stay in longer? What if Jacob was not holding onto Esau’s heel, rather he was pushing him out first?

If Jacob knew that he was destined to earn the blessing and birthright, and had been humble and patient, he would not have needed to run for his life from his brother, because it is not as important what you do, but how you do it.

There is a great story about Beit Hillel and Beit Shammai from the Talmud Bavli in Eruvin 13b (about halfway down the page if you want to find it). They are arguing for three years about who the הלכה agrees with in regards to pure and impure objects. Eventually, the voice of God comes down from the heavens and says ”אילו ואילו דברי אלוהים חיים, which literally means ‘these and these are words of a living God’.” Essentially saying you’re both right. That is confusing enough, but if you keep reading, you’ll see that even though they are both right, the הלכה will be set according to Beit Hillel. Why? Because “נוחין ועלובין היו, they were patient and humble.” The הלכה was set according to Beit Hillel because of how, not what, they did.

In essence, it is important to always try to do things with intention, to always strive to be the best version of yourself you can be. We do this in prayer when we pray with Kavanah. Saying the prayers fulfills Gods commandments, but praying with Kavanah fulfills ourselves.

And it is not just in prayer that we should use Kavanah. In something as simple as meeting a new person there can be Kavanah. One of my favorite examples of a way we can improve is by not using, what my camp director Jerry Kaye calls, the convention handshake. The convention handshake looks like this. You go to say hi to someone or meet someone knew, shake their hand, but already look past them for the next person you are going to meet. Instead, we should be in the moment; make eye contact, learn the person’s name, use ‘active listening.’ We all know these skills and by using them, we can help fulfill ourselves.

Now, back to our great people.

Within his dash, Lincoln freed the slaves in the south and worked diligently his entire presidency to bring peace back to the country during the Civil War.

Michael Jordan, in his dash, was known as the best and hardest working basketball players ever, he is also know because he won 6 NBA championships, 5 MVP awards, had 14 All star game appearances, 2 gold medals, 10 all NBA 1^st team selections, and so on

So what about Jacob? In his dash, he extorted a birthright he knew he would get, usurped a blessing he was destined to have, and was forced to flee his homeland to protect himself from his own brother. But that wasn’t the end of his dash. He was able to make things right. When he met his brother again, he purposefully and meaningfully apologized. When Esau saw this, he was no longer angry with Jacob. Esau forgave his brother and embraced him the way brothers should.

Jacob eventually made the most of his dash by doing things with intention, with a purpose. He learned that it is not the events and dates, the what, that define our lives, but the dash, the how, that is truly defining. What’s in your dash?

Boker Tov